Does Everyone Know This Except Me?
In yesterday's New York Times, Alex Witchel has a piece about being at some kind of fancy fundraising dinner, where people sit at round tables like you do at a wedding. She describes the familiar social ritual of introducing oneself to one's table partners, etc. The main thrust of the piece is her incredulity about the fact that the man sitting next to her (who, in bloglike fashion, she pseudonymizes as Hollywood Big Shot) spent the whole time on his Blackberry. But what caught my attention was this throwaway passage:
I sat down and talked with the man to my left, who was downright delightful. All was well until the entrees were served, the accepted moment to switch conversational partners [my emphasis], no matter how much fun you're having.I have to say, I was struck dumb by this information (or would have been had I been speaking at the moment). Does everyone else know this rule about switching partners? And if so, how and where does one learn this stuff?
posted by Sarah Sometimes at 11:30 PM
7 Comments:
Wow. I didn't know this rule. Usually when I am at a function like that and the entrees are served, it's the signal for everyone at the table to start asking me questions about why I am vegan.
Of course, the word partner indicates talking to one person only, and I am much more the "hey, let's include everyone at the table" type.
Then again, I never even know which fork to use so I guess it's pretty clear I never read the etiquette books ....
Sounds like something that was made up so that a person could feel superior but then I don't go to many formal dinners and haven't been to a formal dinner party since . . I guess my brother's wedding two years ago. All I remember is the one guy wrapping his hand around his fork like a fist and literally shoving the food into his mouth. Now that I know is incorrect:-)
jo(e) and jar: thanks, you guys. I feel reassured that I am not the only one that never heard of this particular point of etiquette...
Me, either. News to me, although I often despair of all the "important" things I don't know.
Imagine being at the dinner, having a great time talking to X, when suddenly he turned away and started talking to someone else! If you weren't clued in, you'd be...offended? Hurt?
And riffing on jo(e)'s comment, when the entrees are served, it's the signal to START EATING!
(Speaking of dinner, my verification word starts with "veg." Couldn't have planned that.)
Thanks, Bitty. Now I feel triply reassured. Now, if jo(e)'s word verification had started with VEG, that would be truly spooky....
I can't say that I knew this rule, per se, but now that you mention it I've been to a few weddings and such where I've seen it in action. I don't think I was really offended, so much as I thought "wow, that person is so much better at mingling than I am" when he or she turned away from conversation with me to talk to the person on their other side or vice versa.
Maybe they teach these things at charm school? Do they still have charm school?
Hmmm, I had never thought of this, but Scrivener may be right - the people who "move in the right circles" may know about it and do it. I should ask more questions in my blog and see if jo(e) replies. Just kidding, or course :)
as for me, when the entree is served, it's definitely time to eat, and maybe comment on the food. (but what happens to Jo(e) might happen to me too, except I'm ovo-lacto vegetarian, not vegan yet)
Post a Comment
<< Home