November Volleyball
We
played
despite cold
and wind and the sun
slanting away across the park
so quickly. How lovely, how brief the afternoon's reign.
Edited Nov. 10th. The syllables were all wrong! I'm out of practice.
Okay, now it's December 12th and I looked at this poem again. Guess what, the syllables are still wrong! Where's the two-syllable line? I have an idea--let's just call this a non-fib poem.
played
despite cold
and wind and the sun
slanting away across the park
so quickly. How lovely, how brief the afternoon's reign.
Edited Nov. 10th. The syllables were all wrong! I'm out of practice.
Okay, now it's December 12th and I looked at this poem again. Guess what, the syllables are still wrong! Where's the two-syllable line? I have an idea--let's just call this a non-fib poem.
posted by Sarah Sometimes at 8:23 PM
5 Comments:
I would never had known, had you not said so!
PPB: Thanks! In the first version (now lost to posterity) I omitted the three-syllable line. The funny thing is that this version does seem better to me.
and notice how the poem slants away...
I like the new version better.
The weather has gone on to be surprisingly warm this November, hasn't it, though? I've been enjoying every single second of it.
Bitty: yes, I hadn't noticed that! Thanks for pointing it out.
Lilian: thanks for your comment. I am touched that you read both versions! Yes, it has been very warm for November, although not so much the last few days. We didn't play volleyball today (our rule is we only play if it's above 50 degrees F.) and I have a feeling the season may be over. Sigh.
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