Not So Great
I don't usually blog about such matters (and it may be that I will decide to take this post down), but can I just say there is a guy out there who is making me sad tonight. I feel like getting that out there into the universe, out of me. I already told a bus driver tonight that I was upset about something, by way of apologizing for forgetting to ring the bell for my stop until he was practically on top of it. He said, shaking his head, but kindly, "You have to be careful." Because I could tell he was kind, I then confided that I was upset. He said something immensely comforting--I can't even remember the exact words, but it was something like, "Every day is different--some days are up, some are down," and he gestured with his hands as if he were weighing something, one hand up, one hand down. I said, "Thank you, I know."
Then I came home and talked on the phone with one of my wise and caring friends, who listened and told me I wasn't crazy, that my feelings made sense. I told her I knew things were working out the way they were supposed to, that clearly I'm not meant to be with this guy (given the way things have been going), but that it's still hard to be disappointed and to have someone change their mind, and their behavior.
Then I unfroze some food I made the other night and watched a really depressing movie--Revolutionary Road. At least it took my mind off my problems, temporarily.
I am also worried and upset about my father, who is 88 and not in great shape and should probably not be living alone any more, but is resistant to most things we suggest to help him. Like getting meals delivered.
On the bright side, I did a headstand in yoga for the first time the other day. Pretty exciting.
I am trying to practice patience, and acceptance.
Then I came home and talked on the phone with one of my wise and caring friends, who listened and told me I wasn't crazy, that my feelings made sense. I told her I knew things were working out the way they were supposed to, that clearly I'm not meant to be with this guy (given the way things have been going), but that it's still hard to be disappointed and to have someone change their mind, and their behavior.
Then I unfroze some food I made the other night and watched a really depressing movie--Revolutionary Road. At least it took my mind off my problems, temporarily.
I am also worried and upset about my father, who is 88 and not in great shape and should probably not be living alone any more, but is resistant to most things we suggest to help him. Like getting meals delivered.
On the bright side, I did a headstand in yoga for the first time the other day. Pretty exciting.
I am trying to practice patience, and acceptance.
posted by Sarah Sometimes at 12:23 AM
4 Comments:
I hope that things are looking better today. I understand about your dad. My husband is going through things with his parents also. His mom, finally, is putting his dad in adult care one day a week. It's a small step but we are moving in the right direction.
Thank you, Jodi, it's good to hear from you.
Sounds like a sad day. Glad that bus driver was there to help you put it in perspective.
Hope you are better now. Life is like that headstand you just did - balance!
Clowncar: Thanks for your kind thoughts. I am indeed doing better now. Just now, because I was thinking of writing this comment in acknowledgment of yours, I remembered that I had a dream last night where I was walking down the street and blithely doing headstands! (actually they were a combination of headstands and the other thing you do in yoga with your arms only touching the ground, and for some reason i can't remember what those are called now [perhaps because I am barely awake], and in the dream I was able to almost do those, too, which was hopeful because in reality I have not yet managed those, so it was a hopeful dream). There, long comment, long parenthetical. Thanks again.
Post a Comment
<< Home