Complaint Department
I know it's been forever, but here I am. This summer has been difficult. I am unemployed, although I still have my part-time teaching gig and am very happy about that. I have been looking for worth (hmm, I meant work--interesting typo) in both academic publishing and teaching. The teaching position I interviewed for in the beginning of the summer went to someone else. I am now waiting to hear about two jobs I interviewed for very recently in publishing, either one of which I would be thrilled to get.
I had a boyfriend, briefly, which was exciting and made me feel optimistic about myself and the future. He decamped a couple of weeks ago, not ready for a "serious" relationship, he said. I am not devastated--we hadn't known each other that long and I could see there were issues--but I am disappointed.
At the end of June, my 89-year-old father had to be hospitalized and my sister and I told the social workers at the hospital that we wanted him released to a nursing home rather than to his own home where he lived alone and had care for only part of the day. We had been working toward this anyway--he could barely walk and has other problems and the arrangement at home was not sufficient. It is better for him (and us) this way, but it has been a big adjustment for everyone. My sister and I have spent a lot of time over there (this is also the nursing home where my brother, a stroke survivor, has been living for the last seven years), visiting with both my father and my brother, accompanying my father on doctor and hospital visits, speaking to the nurses about his various problems and trying to get them attended to. We also had to dismantle and vacate the apartment where he had had been living since 1974, at first with my mother, who died in 1988, and then on his own. We have spent days and days sorting through family photos, documents, personal and official letters, and other memorabilia dating back to the 1930s and even earlier (there are documents relating to both my parents' parents also). Also shredding things--my parents saved every bill, every check they ever wrote. A lot of this has been very emotional, some of it just annoying. We didn't have a chance to go through everything--put a few cartons and bins in storage and the rest of it is distributed between our two apartments. Lots of disorder now in my apartment--more than usual. But, anyway, it is done--my sister returned the key to the apartment yesterday. I told my father this and he made a sad face--kind of a mock-crying look. But only for a minute.
Because of all this family stuff, and also my own tendency to procrastinate, I am behind where I should be on an academic project I am working on, and my coeditor is annoyed with me.
And, a final complaint: Because I have developed something called "de Quervain syndrome" in my left wrist (a cousin of carpal tunnel syndrome is how my doctor described it), I have had to stay away from yoga. This is not good for my mood. Doc plans to give me a shot of cortisone, which he says should help. First I have to get the hand x-rayed and examined sonically to make sure it is not something else. And then I have to wait until September 21st, the first available appointment for the shot.
On the up side, I have had some good times with friends this summer, a couple of really nice beach days and dinners out. And I had the beautiful vacation in New Mexico in July. And my sister and I have had a chance to bond over this whole experience with my father.
Okay, that's it. I will gladly accept sympathy, words of encouragement, jokes, etc.
I had a boyfriend, briefly, which was exciting and made me feel optimistic about myself and the future. He decamped a couple of weeks ago, not ready for a "serious" relationship, he said. I am not devastated--we hadn't known each other that long and I could see there were issues--but I am disappointed.
At the end of June, my 89-year-old father had to be hospitalized and my sister and I told the social workers at the hospital that we wanted him released to a nursing home rather than to his own home where he lived alone and had care for only part of the day. We had been working toward this anyway--he could barely walk and has other problems and the arrangement at home was not sufficient. It is better for him (and us) this way, but it has been a big adjustment for everyone. My sister and I have spent a lot of time over there (this is also the nursing home where my brother, a stroke survivor, has been living for the last seven years), visiting with both my father and my brother, accompanying my father on doctor and hospital visits, speaking to the nurses about his various problems and trying to get them attended to. We also had to dismantle and vacate the apartment where he had had been living since 1974, at first with my mother, who died in 1988, and then on his own. We have spent days and days sorting through family photos, documents, personal and official letters, and other memorabilia dating back to the 1930s and even earlier (there are documents relating to both my parents' parents also). Also shredding things--my parents saved every bill, every check they ever wrote. A lot of this has been very emotional, some of it just annoying. We didn't have a chance to go through everything--put a few cartons and bins in storage and the rest of it is distributed between our two apartments. Lots of disorder now in my apartment--more than usual. But, anyway, it is done--my sister returned the key to the apartment yesterday. I told my father this and he made a sad face--kind of a mock-crying look. But only for a minute.
Because of all this family stuff, and also my own tendency to procrastinate, I am behind where I should be on an academic project I am working on, and my coeditor is annoyed with me.
And, a final complaint: Because I have developed something called "de Quervain syndrome" in my left wrist (a cousin of carpal tunnel syndrome is how my doctor described it), I have had to stay away from yoga. This is not good for my mood. Doc plans to give me a shot of cortisone, which he says should help. First I have to get the hand x-rayed and examined sonically to make sure it is not something else. And then I have to wait until September 21st, the first available appointment for the shot.
On the up side, I have had some good times with friends this summer, a couple of really nice beach days and dinners out. And I had the beautiful vacation in New Mexico in July. And my sister and I have had a chance to bond over this whole experience with my father.
Okay, that's it. I will gladly accept sympathy, words of encouragement, jokes, etc.
posted by Sarah Sometimes at 12:43 PM
7 Comments:
You've really had to deal with a lot this year. I'm hoping your fall is more tranquil.
Thank you, dear jo(e).
Hope that the jobs work out.
One of the hardest things in the world, clearing out a parent's house. We spent three years doing ours a decade ago, and I was continuously reminded of how inscribed my mother's life was. She wrote letters to everyone, and everyone wrote back. There were several life histories in those letters, cards, telegrams, bits, drawings, locks, business cards, etc.
After we got all the jots/tittles of my mother and father's life sorted out, there was a period of just needing to have the house. To be able to go over and walk through the 15 rooms and the attics and look out the windows. One of my nieces moved in for the last semester of her senior year and helped to put it in order for eventual selling.
The papery stuff we sorted through is gone now, but vivid in our memories. The 43 ball handmade gowns we packed into boxes and shoved into a far corner of the attic behind the chimney might still be there.
And surely the notes to Mom and Dad I wrote on secret walls here and there remain.
Your house must smell a little of your father's house at the moment. There's comfort in that.
T.
Jodi: Thank you! Nice to hear from you.
FA: Thank you for your story. Yes, it's true, I've hung some of the pictures that were in my father's apartment on my walls and that is comforting.
I just got around to reading this. I hope by now the cortisone has worked its magic, you're back to yoga and things are moving forward on the job front. But in any case, hang in there. Things will get better.
Terry, thank you, great to hear from you! And, yes, I am hanging in. Hope to get back to yoga soon--I've had the shot and it seems to have helped. Thank you for saying things will get better--it's hard to remember, sometimes, that they always do.
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